Humans are deeply social by nature, and emotional contact is a genuine biological need. When relationships with others become agitated, we sometimes experience severe emotional pain, often in the form of both physiological and psychological suffering.

The practice of emotional communication can help you learn how to improve the way you manage your relationships with others. This practice does not involve managing your emotions (which is covered in the Know Yourself series) but rather the step that comes after this: applying your emotional growth toward improving your communication with others.

It is possible for us to develop our emotional intelligence because, unlike IQ, it can increase quite a bit over our lifetime if we pursue it in the right way. When we develop this type of intelligence, we become better at identifying the emotional states of both ourselves and others. We improve our understanding of the natural course of emotions, and are thus able to communicate them better and in more elevated ways.

Emotional violence in daily relationships has a direct connection with increased levels of stress and depression. Conflicts with people in our close environment place the greatest strain on the emotional brain, the part that regulates emotions. This stress is only accentuated by the violence we see in the media each day.

As a result of strained relationships, the most developed countries in the world have had the same rate of depression as those recently involved in decades of civil war. Moreover, the consumption of antidepressants in the most developed countries has doubled over the last ten years.

The happiest people consistently have deep, stable, and close emotional relationships, which allow the emotional brain (and in turn the body) to calm down spontaneously. Humans, in this respect, function like small ecosystems and can cleanse themselves once they are no longer being polluted by negative emotions and their biological effects.

In addition to controlling the body's physiology, the emotional brain also watches over the balance of our relationships. Anxiety and depression are often warning signs sent by our emotional brain when it senses a threat to our social equilibrium. And yet, research in this area has demonstrated that there are no lasting emotional relationships without conflict. Still, we must be aware of how these conflicts work in order to treat others respectfully when difficulties arise.

In order to maintain a balanced perspective during an emotional conflict, it is necessary to communicate non-violently. To do so,

• Replace any criticism with objective observation.
• Avoid judging others; instead, express to them what you feel.
• Avoid being scornful or sarcastic; otherwise, the other person will immediately close up and become defensive.
• Choose a good moment to speak. For example, do not confront someone when they are tired or distressed.
• Promote open discourse as much as possible.
• Always take a friendly, respectful approach. It is possible to sort through a problem without feeling like you have become enemies.

To deepen your relationships with others, you must be completely present when they need your assistance. So, after asking them what has happened in a particular situation, make sure you listen closely to what they tell you. Then, ask them how they are feeling, what difficulties they are having, and what you can do to help them deal with the problem. Sincerely express what impressions you have gathered while listening to them. Remember that everyone needs to feel cared for when they are suffering.

Through the experience of positive exchanges, our emotional brain develops and learns to trust our capacity to relate well with others. Very quickly, what was only theoretical is put into practice and becomes natural. Then, we feel like we are in the right place in our community, and, as a result, we become less susceptible to the threats of anxiety and depression.